"I started sucking on your belly button"

I just heard these lyrics blaring from a girls phone. I'm embarrassed we live in such a society.

Missing Home.

Injuries, whether it be emotional or physical make me miss home. Life hasn't been working out in my favor lately. I think I'm ready to come home. I miss driving and having access to my dentist. As pathetic as it sounds, I miss having my mother's support when someone gets mad at me. She always had the right things to say.

We were selling rootbeer floats today. As our group of RAs were walking around pushing a flatbed cart my job was to sit on it and scoop ice cream. The cart speeds up and then stops, someone landing Jeremy on top of me. I landed on a plastic crate holding the pop. My back hurts and I have a welt on my arm.

I lost my best friends yesterday. I'm not even sure if you can call them best friends if you can lose them. My life isn't just too busy for me, but for the others in my life. I don't seem to have time for anyone else, let alone me. When I look into the future I don't see myself at BSU next year, therefore I'm not sure why I'm here now. I am ready to leave and return to some place welcoming and calm... an old home I hope to make new.

Blood.

Shaving is something I look forward to, it really is. I love the feeling of smooth arms and legs. I enjoy the feel of a new razor sliding across my skin. BUT not today. Today, the shower turned against me. As I was removing the hair from under my left upper arm I slipped on (something) and had to catch myself with the close tile wall. As I caught my breath I started crying. A burning pain was radiating from my skin. It was hollering at me, warning me of what had just occurred. I looked down to a very bloody limb.

I bandaged it. And then again because the high amount of blood gushing from it.

All is well now but it wasn't fun.

This is a warning to all, if you shave your arms... be careful.

More recently...

I also ordered some stuff from Elaine. My favorite things are the bows for my hair. I also bought a little pocket book, a flower pin and a bracelet... all for a good price too. Thanks Elaine for being so crafty!


Today while studying in the atrium and enjoying some delicious lunch I turned around to be scared the poop out of! This giant yellow rain drop thing was standing right behind me. I immediately turned to studying and pretended like he wasn't there. After twenty minutes of sweating in fear he finally left. Although it would be nice to overcome this phobia, I don't think it is going to happen anytime soon!

Lately....

I've had an interesting past couple of days. To start with I was in the photo lab and saw a man with a barbie leg as a zipper pull (see photo to the left). I wonder what the story was behind that...













I also went and picked up my christmas tree (finally) and my microwave from my old room. When I opened my microwave this is what I saw (again, see photo to the left). Thanks Paige and Nicole for adding to my collection of paper cranes.





For Valentine's Day I bought myself a flower and when I went to pick it up they said I had three waiting for me. My fellow RAs, Kevin and Bryan bought me one each. Great guys!

Nail Care.

I have had a lot of hang nails lately. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because I haven't been treating my nails with the appreciation they deserve. HaHa. Why do we get hang nails? I'll google it right quick...

"A hang nail is when the skin around the nail (it is usually called the cuticle) becomes dry or you notice small tears or splits in the nail plate.

Hang nails can be caused by dryness, nail biting, cutting the cuticle, or from an injury. A hang nail is more unattractive and annoying than a serious problem, but without proper care your hang nails may become infected and this will be painful."

...there we go.

Oh, Elise.

Stacie's mom is blaring from the darkroom and that makes me laugh. 

Happy Valentine's Day.

When I eat a Reese's cup I like to nibble off the outside edges first. Then take about three bites of my favorite part, the sweet peanut butter middle. 

Today I woke-up, packed, got ready and ate a delicious homemade breakfast before my lovely booyfriend picked me up for church. We ate at McDonalds for lunch, drove back to Muncie and watched my new netflix, Paper Heart. It was better than I had expected. It was a really cute movie to watch on the V-Day... Adam fell asleep. HaHa. 

Speaking of good movies,  we went and saw Valentine's Day in theatre on Friday. It was so good. I am proud of the director and writer. It was a new kind of love story. I will be netflix-ing it and then buying it one day. I can't wait to see it again. 

I've seen a lot of cute kids today. 

My photo project is really irritating me. 

I need a nap. 

Happy Valentine's Day... as happy as you can make that is. 

shopping.

I have been shopping a lot lately. Bargains only though. I purchased a pair of green pants from Old Navy and just ordered the three items above from Forever 21. Not to mention the etsy order I placed last night. I am going to the mall today too.

Okay, I have a problem. HaHa.

I look forward to the purple dress the most, I think it will look darling with my unitard (which I have yet to wear in public). I'm not a huge belt person but just the other day I needed one and when digging through my accessory drawer I realized I haven't bought a new belt since Freshman year of High School when jeans used to come with them.

I will keep you updated on how the new finds fit & treat me.

'love studio'

I set up a little studio for a floor program. Although no one is here to get their photo taken it gets my blood pumping to own my own studio one day. I cannot wait. I can only imagine what it will be like. Now, if some residents would only show up I could post something besides pink paper taped to a plastered wall...

Today.

Past: Nothing much to report. I haven't regretted any decisions I have made in my life thus far. Everything happens for a reason.

Present: I just took a good look at the snow. I usually walk with my head down focused on the pavement, watching for ice that could possibly end my life. Today with mostly dry walkways I kept my head held straight and noticed that there is a lot of snow out there! It must be over a foot of fun-ness. Although I don't go sledding on a daily basis I can only imagine all the children out there that come home from school eager to bundle up and jump in. I used to go out for an hour and come running towards warmth. After stripping my clothes off I'd be ready to go out again. My mom used to get so frustrated. Ha, someday when my kids are pestering me I'll feel bad for everything I did to my mother.

I've been on a sugar rush lately and am paying the consequences. I have a terrible headache and have a bloated belly that weighs an extra pound. Whether it is flips, reese's or those warm chocolate chip cookies from the cafeteria I just can't stop eating. I don't see this problem turning into anything good anytime soon.

Future: I'm headed home this weekend. Friday Carmen, Kyle, Adam and I are double dating to Panera and to see Valentine's Day. I am looking forward to it! I think it will be a good experience hanging out with another couple and to reflect on each others love. Hmm, I love love.

The big V-Day is coming up this weekend as well. Adam and I have decided to just stay in and enjoy each other's company. He says there is no reason why our love should be any different because it's February 14th and I have no desire to fight the crowds anyways. Nothing beats spending time with him though, no matter what we're doing. (He is my best friend!)

Inspirations

Sally Mann, thank you Jacinda for forcing us to watch that documentary on her. Her black and white photographs of her children and husband led me to the library in search of more works by her. While on the scary fourth floor of the library I came across two more artist that caught my eye. Jock Sturges and Philip-Lorca Dicorcia are two I recommend everyone search for, study and learn from.

I can only hope that when I learn all the nooks and crannies about medium and large format cameras I create something as beautiful as them.

I have not been the best when it comes to carrying my camera around lately. I need to get reconnected with my passion and dive in head first. I need to fall in love with photography again. I need to charge my batteries and reformat a memory card. It's time to take the inspiration I've gained and put it to work.

I promise new photos soon, sooner than later at least.

First & Fresh

There is always an end to everything and fresh start to another. I have entered a new chapter in my life and thought it deserved a new blog, one full of happiness and memories with new friends.

This is my chance to communicate with friends and family far and near who I don't talk to on a regular basis.

Ball State is treating me well in my last few months nestled in it's wings. I am taking advantage of everything it has to offer me before I head off and learn to fly in the real world. I am a residents assistant and am given many opportunities through this position. The money is nice but it is merely a bonus to the people I've met and experiences I've had.

I will be leaving at the end of this term and most likely not returning. Although not everyone is on my side in this decision I am positive it will make me happy and in the end, do me well. I look forward to growing up, moving out and hopefully getting married.

I recently started dating Adam. I met him two years ago through his mother, my coworker at the time. We have been together since December 22nd. We both agree that it was the best Christmas of our lives. I have seen him everyday since! Whether it's an hour or an entire weekend, he never passes an opportunity to spend time with me.

That's all the updates I have for tonight.

Stay tuned. Ha.